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The Bengals '03 - Important Dates
9/6/03 - by The Coroner

Aug. 30 - Reinard Wilson & Akili Smith get cut; Cincy & GB team IQ's spike up

Sept. 3 - T. Blackheart orders reduced bottled waters & extra 4 oz tap water cups for Bungles opener (greater margins on cup water)

Sept. 7 - Bungle training staff busy administering IV's all afternoon

Sept. 8 - Fantasy football owners who drafted Clinton Portis thrilled to be in 1st place.

Sept. 8 - Danny Sheridan installs Raiders as 18-point favorites over Bungles

Sept. 15 - Shane Matthews named new starting quarterback

Sept. 21 - Corey Dillon begins 14-week moratorium on interviews

Sept. 27 - Drunken Brown family members jailed in Cleveland

Sept. 29 - Brown family sycophant Mark Curnette (D - Enquirer) doesn't report it

Sept. 29 - Enquirer's Paul Daugherty ends Marvin Lewis suck up campaign; drills Bungles in his Monday column

Sept. 29 - Kelley Washington goes on IR; Jim Lippincott unavailable for comment

Oct. 6 - Carson Palmer named new starting quarterback; Bungles enter bye week at 0-5

Oct. 7 - NFL fines Takeo Spikes for taunting & humiliating in Bills 38-3 win

Oct. 13 - At least one player or coach gets a DUI during bye week

Oct. 27 - Bungles start scouring waiver wire for a fullback

Oct. 30 - Bungles get sued for screwing loyal patrons out of promised seating positions; T. Blackheart unavailable for comment

Nov. 2 - Emmit Smith has his final 200+ yard rushing performance of his career

Nov. 3 - Arizona Cardinals boast as NFL's 31st best team 

Nov. 5 - Kina re-instated & promised job for rest of the season

Nov. 9 - "We've hit an all-time low" is uttered multiple times after loss to Houston

Disclaimer - The opinions expressed and implied here are those of the contributing fan columnist and may not be those of Fraidy.  Of course then again they probably are.

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